Man Eat Food

For the first time in two years, I’m going on vacation. Thus, no updates for the week of May 10 - 16.

If you know any good places to visit in the Florida Keys, drop me a line: foodood at gmail dot com.

See you next week!

1. Irvine Robbins, co-founder of Baskin-Robbins ice cream, died at the age of 90.

We used to have a Baskin-Robbins in my neighborhood when I was a kid, and I would always get World Class Chocolate. I have no idea if that’s still part of the “31 flavors” at the current stores (now owned and operated by the Dunkin’ Donuts conglomerate), but going to that B-R for the first time will forever be one of my warmest ice cream memories.

2. Melograno, still the number 1 restaurant on my Philly Top 10, has lost its lease and will move this summer.

According to the Philadelphia Inquirer’s Food and Drinq blog:

Melograno, one of the best-received of the recent crop of mom-and-pop BYOs, has lost its lease after five years.

July 28 will be its last day at 22d and Spruce Streets, says Rosemarie Tran, who owns Melograno with her husband, Gianluca Demontis.

They’re relocating to 2010 Sansom St. — same name and concept — and hope to be up and running in September, taking advantage of their usual August vacation.

Although its current neighborhood is much nicer, I can’t complain since they’re moving around the corner from me. As long as the quality stays high, I’ll be there on a regular basis.

3. Who added the extra “r” in shebert?

If you just pronounced that last word like “sherbert,” join the crowd. Thankfully, we have Anu Garg of MSN’s new On Words column to show us the folly of our ways.

The word is from Arabic, but it took a scenic route to English. It stopped by Persian and Turkish before reaching the shores of the English language. In Arabic šarbat is a drink. (By the way, the word syrup is a cousin of this word.)

Don’t worry, his daughter got it wrong too.

I’m sure you all remember me (and about every food new outlet around the country) telling you about the unfortunate ousting of Dinner: Impossible’s host, Chef Robert Irvine, several weeks ago. The story goes that Mr. Irvine embellished his resume a tad (or more, depending on your opinion), prompting Food Network to fire one of my favorite food personalities from one of my favorite shows.

Now, the FN has announced his replacement - Michael Symon, winner of the network’s Next Iron Chef competition.

Personally, I have no idea who this guy is and what he’s capable of. I love Iron Chef (even the America version) but I’ve never seen Symon in action. I guess he has to be good if he won the competition, but it remains to be seen whether he has the outsized personality (and ego) required for Dinner: Impossible.

Look, I’ll give him props for the bald pate (if only because I’ll probably be sporting the look in a few years), but as to his prowess under tight deadlines, I have no idea. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, my friends.

By the way, is it me or is he just flipping egg yolks in that picture?

If this were inside my chest, I’d eat my heart out every day.

More artistic chocolates and candy sculptures are compiled at Dark Roasted Blend.

Maybe not as artistic, but no less fascinating, is Mental Floss’ Best of the Worst Foods Ever.

These “edibles” - like the above-pictured In ‘N’ Out 100×100 burger - just might kill you. But come on, it would totally be worth it!

That’s not true; it’s really just a pile of excuses.

But rather than bore you with those, check out some of the stuff I’ve been up to while not writing about food:

The New York Comic Con

Yes, I have been known to let my geek flag fly on occasion (or many occasions), but I’ve never done the whole costume thing like the above collection of Batman misfits. Ever notice that no matter how good the costumes are, there’s always something off? Mr. Freeze is fairly imaginative - hockey gear and all - but the Penguin (and I can’t believe I’m saying this about a convention attendee) is too tall and not nearly pudgy enough.

For the Least Believable Character/Body Type Combo award, it’s a tie between him and the 5′ 2″ skinny dude I saw slathered up in green body paint as the Incredible Hulk. How about tackling characters more your respective sizes, guys?

The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus

I hadn’t been to the circus in a good twenty years, but we scored free tickets thanks to my wife’s chance encounter with a sick tiger at vet school. How’s that for a perk?

The big-top event was naturally geared toward kids, but there were a few huh?-inducing adult moments. First, for one routine, the house band did an instrumental version of “Smack My Bitch Up” by The Prodigy. Now, I’m sure the kids didn’t get the reference (and the title was never mentioned), but everyone in my generation looked at each other and cringed at the subtle inappropriateness of the song selection.

Even wackier were some of the costumes and moves perpetrated by the circus “dancers.” At one point, there were a dozen of these cheerleader-like ladies, clad in black leather, fishnet stockings, and handle bars jutting out from their hips (you read that right), gyrating to the music.

I couldn’t believe my eyes. The kids may have been focused on the ringmaster/clown war in the middle of the arena, but the adults were treated to red-light-district-worthy strip show in the shadows. Kinda creepy.

The Future

One of life’s so-called transitional periods has heavily intruded on my blogging schedule recently and will keep posts at a minimum for the next month or so.

In the meantime, feel free to offer guesses on how I received this oh-so-painful blister on my finger.

I’ll give you a hint: it happened in the kitchen.

The fanciest of fancy Philadelphia restaurants has just gotten a little less, well… fancy, according to Zagat:

Georges Perrier, saying he wants to have fun and stop obsessing over his Mobil five stars, has dropped the prix fixe policy at Le Bec-Fin, his Center City West landmark. Most mains on the à la carte dinner menu are priced under $40, and the reservation book has slots every 15 minutes, not two seatings a night.

I have mixed feelings about this move. On the one hand, I like it when owners try to mix things up and infuse some unpredictability into stodgy institutions. On the other hand, as someone who’s never experienced this particular institution, I feel like I’m being robbed of the full Le Bec-Fin treatment.

I guess when I finally do make it there, I can take solace in the fact that I won’t know what I’m missing. But that’s cold comfort when part of the reason you’re going in the first place (the exclusive fine dining charm) has been unceremoniously stripped away.

Is it too much to ask to have both styles of dining? A couple of mass seatings and prix-fixes for the traditionalists and newbies (like me), and a more mainstream, a la carte experience for the rest?

And by the way, when did a gas station get to be the preeminent judge of dining quality in the United States? Taking restaurant suggestions from Mobil is like asking my local mechanic how to make a soufflé.

Wow, take a gander at this monstrosity. Only in Japan, a land virtually untouched by obesity, can the marketing wizards at Pizza Hut peddle a 646 calorie per slice (per slice!!!) food to kids without the least demonstration of conscience or remorse.

According to Gizmodo, Pizza Hut’s “exclusive” Double Roll pie includes bacon-wrapped wieners, mini hamburgers, pepperoni, three kinds of cheeses, and a few veggies.

And because that’s not hurl-inducing enough, how about adding a little ketchup and maple syrup? Because, ya know, that other stuff just doesn’t have the thick, viscous quality that’s driving all the kids nuts these days.

Honestly, when food becomes this kitschy, it’s more sad than cute.

Thanks to Meghan for the heads-up on this article.

Update 5/9/08

More crazy Asian pizza crusts here!

Food on Film is an occasional feature in which I explore some of the most significant food-related scenes in popular film.

The first Indiana Jones movie, Raider of the Lost Ark, featured poisoned dates. The third installment, The Last Crusade, didn’t have much in the way of edibles. But Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom… that, my friends, was a culinary horror show.

Let’s recap the exotic menu consumed (or mostly avoided) by Indy, Willie and Short Round at the infamous Pankot Palace:

Course 1 - Baby Snakes

If you didn’t swallow your gum when this behemoth was served, I can at least guarantee some seat squirming when those slimy snake infants escaped their momma. Catching them and slurping them up alive set the tone for one of the most cringe-inducing eating scenes this side of Fear Factor.

Course 2 - Beetle Backs

I want my baby back, baby back, baby back… beetles. Sorry, couldn’t resist. Compared to what came before and after, this was the most innocuous of the dinner courses. Like much of what we eat every day, the beetles were:

1. Small
2. Dead
3. Nutritious

Heck, I’d give ‘em a try.

Course 3: Eyeball Soup

Compared to the real deal (pictured), the movie soup looks downright appetizing. Couldn’t Willie just pick out the eyeballs and suck down the broth? The scarier thought is this: whose eyeballs are those?

Course 4: Chilled Monkey Brains

The perfect ending to both the dinner and this classic scene. Don’t you just love the way Willie’s dining neighbor slurps up the jiggly red mess?

It gets me every time.

Course 5: ??????????????????????????

In case you’ve been living under a rock (again, looking at you Osama!), there’s a fourth Indy adventure on its way called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. The early trailers don’t betray any food significance, but I’ll be there May 22 looking for some.

Previously on Food on Film:

• Star Wars
• Silence of the Lambs

Riddle me this: what do you call Chicken Marsala that doesn’t include any Marsala?

This was my dilemma last weekend when, halfway into the cooking process, I discovered a distinct lack of Marsala wine in the apartment. (I had also run out of mushrooms, but that’s another issue.)

During my extensive search for a substitute alcohol, I retrieved a tall blue bottle from the back of the pantry that had long since faded from memory. The liquid, dubbed Attitude III, was described on the bottle as “Blueberry Wine with grape spirits added.” Hmmmmmm…

I tried a little and, tasting a slight resemblance to the sweetness of Marsala and port wines, decided to throw it in. I almost immediately regretted my decision as strange, blueberry fumes rose from the pan. In a desperate attempt to save the sauce, I grabbed some refrigerated chardonnay and poured in a healthy splash.

Then, as a final cover-up, I doubled the amount of lemon juice I normally add. If there was going to be an edge to it, I thought it better to err on the side of citrus.

The result? Surprisingly, not bad.

Although it took a bite or two to get used to the less-familiar taste, the wife and I both enjoyed the experiment.

I can’t say it was the best meal I’ve ever had, but I can’t say it was the worst either. It was just a happy accident… but one I hope not to repeat anytime soon.

Remember this guy?

His name is Al Yageneh and he was the inspiration for Seinfeld’s legendary Soup Nazi character. Turns out he’s done quite well for himself by franchising his world-renowned New York soup shop.

I just discovered one of his Original Soup Man locations on a recent trip to the Jerz (New Jersey, for non-locals). I didn’t make the connection at first, but then I was struck by a big sign explaining “the rules”:

For the most efficient and fastest service, the line MUST keep moving.

• Pick the soup you want!
• Have your money ready!
• Move to the EXTREME left after ordering!

Ah, yes! The memories came flooding back: George and Jerry ordering stone-faced and then sidestepping to pay with almost robotic precision. Fortunately, this particular shop was fairly empty and manned by an amiable guy in a backwards Yankees cap. He didn’t look like he was about to enforce any rules.

Alhough we tasted a curry-based soup and got a look at the rest of the lineup, the wife and I went with a vegetarian mushroom-barley concoction. Barley is not an ingredient that usually floats my boat (and neither is soup as a general food category), but this stuff was like liquid gold. It was flavorful without being too salty, hearty without being a full meal, and just the right balance of slurp and chew.

My only question: when’s the Soup Man coming to Philly?