Entries from April 2008
That’s not true; it’s really just a pile of excuses.
But rather than bore you with those, check out some of the stuff I’ve been up to while not writing about food:
The New York Comic Con
Yes, I have been known to let my geek flag fly on occasion (or many occasions), but I’ve never done the whole costume thing like the above collection of Batman misfits. Ever notice that no matter how good the costumes are, there’s always something off? Mr. Freeze is fairly imaginative - hockey gear and all - but the Penguin (and I can’t believe I’m saying this about a convention attendee) is too tall and not nearly pudgy enough.
For the Least Believable Character/Body Type Combo award, it’s a tie between him and the 5′ 2″ skinny dude I saw slathered up in green body paint as the Incredible Hulk. How about tackling characters more your respective sizes, guys?
The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus
I hadn’t been to the circus in a good twenty years, but we scored free tickets thanks to my wife’s chance encounter with a sick tiger at vet school. How’s that for a perk?
The big-top event was naturally geared toward kids, but there were a few huh?-inducing adult moments. First, for one routine, the house band did an instrumental version of “Smack My Bitch Up” by The Prodigy. Now, I’m sure the kids didn’t get the reference (and the title was never mentioned), but everyone in my generation looked at each other and cringed at the subtle inappropriateness of the song selection.
Even wackier were some of the costumes and moves perpetrated by the circus “dancers.” At one point, there were a dozen of these cheerleader-like ladies, clad in black leather, fishnet stockings, and handle bars jutting out from their hips (you read that right), gyrating to the music.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. The kids may have been focused on the ringmaster/clown war in the middle of the arena, but the adults were treated to red-light-district-worthy strip show in the shadows. Kinda creepy.
The Future
One of life’s so-called transitional periods has heavily intruded on my blogging schedule recently and will keep posts at a minimum for the next month or so.
In the meantime, feel free to offer guesses on how I received this oh-so-painful blister on my finger.
I’ll give you a hint: it happened in the kitchen.
Categories: Announcements · Philadelphia · Travel
Tagged: blister, circus, clowns, dancers, excuses, food blog, new york comic con, the prodigy, tiger
The fanciest of fancy Philadelphia restaurants has just gotten a little less, well… fancy, according to Zagat:
Georges Perrier, saying he wants to have fun and stop obsessing over his Mobil five stars, has dropped the prix fixe policy at Le Bec-Fin, his Center City West landmark. Most mains on the à la carte dinner menu are priced under $40, and the reservation book has slots every 15 minutes, not two seatings a night.
I have mixed feelings about this move. On the one hand, I like it when owners try to mix things up and infuse some unpredictability into stodgy institutions. On the other hand, as someone who’s never experienced this particular institution, I feel like I’m being robbed of the full Le Bec-Fin treatment.
I guess when I finally do make it there, I can take solace in the fact that I won’t know what I’m missing. But that’s cold comfort when part of the reason you’re going in the first place (the exclusive fine dining charm) has been unceremoniously stripped away.
Is it too much to ask to have both styles of dining? A couple of mass seatings and prix-fixes for the traditionalists and newbies (like me), and a more mainstream, a la carte experience for the rest?
And by the way, when did a gas station get to be the preeminent judge of dining quality in the United States? Taking restaurant suggestions from Mobil is like asking my local mechanic how to make a soufflé.
Categories: News · Philadelphia · Restaurants
Tagged: a la carte, fancy restaurant, fine dining, Georges Perrier, le bec fin, mainstream, Mobil rating, Philadelphia, prix-fixe
Wow, take a gander at this monstrosity. Only in Japan, a land virtually untouched by obesity, can the marketing wizards at Pizza Hut peddle a 646 calorie per slice (per slice!!!) food to kids without the least demonstration of conscience or remorse.
According to Gizmodo, Pizza Hut’s “exclusive” Double Roll pie includes bacon-wrapped wieners, mini hamburgers, pepperoni, three kinds of cheeses, and a few veggies.
And because that’s not hurl-inducing enough, how about adding a little ketchup and maple syrup? Because, ya know, that other stuff just doesn’t have the thick, viscous quality that’s driving all the kids nuts these days.
Honestly, when food becomes this kitschy, it’s more sad than cute.
Thanks to Meghan for the heads-up on this article.
Update 5/9/08
More crazy Asian pizza crusts here!
Categories: Curiosities · To Go · Travel
Tagged: double roll, japan, ketchup, maple syrup, pepperoni, pizza, pizza hut
Food on Film is an occasional feature in which I explore some of the most significant food-related scenes in popular film.
The first Indiana Jones movie, Raider of the Lost Ark, featured poisoned dates. The third installment, The Last Crusade, didn’t have much in the way of edibles. But Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom… that, my friends, was a culinary horror show.
Let’s recap the exotic menu consumed (or mostly avoided) by Indy, Willie and Short Round at the infamous Pankot Palace:
Course 1 - Baby Snakes
If you didn’t swallow your gum when this behemoth was served, I can at least guarantee some seat squirming when those slimy snake infants escaped their momma. Catching them and slurping them up alive set the tone for one of the most cringe-inducing eating scenes this side of Fear Factor.
Course 2 - Beetle Backs
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back… beetles. Sorry, couldn’t resist. Compared to what came before and after, this was the most innocuous of the dinner courses. Like much of what we eat every day, the beetles were:
- Small
- Dead
- Nutritious
Heck, I’d give ‘em a try.
Course 3: Eyeball Soup
Compared to the real deal (pictured), the movie soup looks downright appetizing. Couldn’t Willie just pick out the eyeballs and suck down the broth? The scarier thought is this: whose eyeballs are those?
Course 4: Chilled Monkey Brains
The perfect ending to both the dinner and this classic scene. Don’t you just love the way Willie’s dining neighbor slurps up the jiggly red mess?
It gets me every time.
Course 5: ??????????????????????????
In case you’ve been living under a rock (again, looking at you Osama!), there’s a fourth Indy adventure on its way called Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. The early trailers don’t betray any food significance, but I’ll be there May 22 looking for some.
Previously on Food on Film:
Categories: Food on Film
Tagged: indiana jones, the temple of doom, dinner scene, snakes, bugs, eyeball soup, monkey brains, indy, short round, willie
Riddle me this: what do you call Chicken Marsala that doesn’t include any Marsala?
This was my dilemma last weekend when, halfway into the cooking process, I discovered a distinct lack of Marsala wine in the apartment. (I had also run out of mushrooms, but that’s another issue.)
During my extensive search for a substitute alcohol, I retrieved a tall blue bottle from the back of the pantry that had long since faded from memory. The liquid, dubbed Attitude III, was described on the bottle as “Blueberry Wine with grape spirits added.” Hmmmmmm…
I tried a little and, tasting a slight resemblance to the sweetness of Marsala and port wines, decided to throw it in. I almost immediately regretted my decision as strange, blueberry fumes rose from the pan. In a desperate attempt to save the sauce, I grabbed some refrigerated chardonnay and poured in a healthy splash.
Then, as a final cover-up, I doubled the amount of lemon juice I normally add. If there was going to be an edge to it, I thought it better to err on the side of citrus.
The result? Surprisingly, not bad.
Although it took a bite or two to get used to the less-familiar taste, the wife and I both enjoyed the experiment.
I can’t say it was the best meal I’ve ever had, but I can’t say it was the worst either. It was just a happy accident… but one I hope not to repeat anytime soon.
Categories: Cooking · Curiosities · Problems
Tagged: attitude 3, blueberry wine, chicken, grape spirits, lemon juice, marsala, substitutes
Remember this guy?
His name is Al Yageneh and he was the inspiration for Seinfeld’s legendary Soup Nazi character. Turns out he’s done quite well for himself by franchising his world-renowned New York soup shop.
I just discovered one of his Original Soup Man locations on a recent trip to the Jerz (New Jersey, for non-locals). I didn’t make the connection at first, but then I was struck by a big sign explaining “the rules”:
For the most efficient and fastest service, the line MUST keep moving.
- Pick the soup you want!
- Have your money ready!
- Move to the EXTREME left after ordering!
Ah, yes! The memories came flooding back: George and Jerry ordering stone-faced and then sidestepping to pay with almost robotic precision. Fortunately, this particular shop was fairly empty and manned by an amiable guy in a backwards Yankees cap. He didn’t look like he was about to enforce any rules.
Alhough we tasted a curry-based soup and got a look at the rest of the lineup, the wife and I went with a vegetarian mushroom-barley concoction. Barley is not an ingredient that usually floats my boat (and neither is soup as a general food category), but this stuff was like liquid gold. It was flavorful without being too salty, hearty without being a full meal, and just the right balance of slurp and chew.
My only question: when’s the Soup Man coming to Philly?
Categories: My Lunch
Tagged: barley, mushroom, new jersey, new york, original soup man, seinfeld, soup, soup nazi
As someone who’s alive, I consider water not only a thirst-quenching beverage but also an essential contributor to my avoidance of death. That’s why this recent Today Show report that certain types of plastic bottles could be harmful to one’s health immediately struck me as worrisome.
How is it that these vessels of life-sustaining liquid could be so tainted? Once again, we must blame chemistry.
Well, not the whole scientific field. We’re talking about the chemical makeup of certain plastics, most notably those with the recycling numbers 3, 6 and 7 (as seen on the bottom of the containers). Supposedly, the chemical composition of these plastics are such that repeated use, especially with the heat introduced by microwaves, could somehow cause the seepage of unsafe substances into the water or whatever you happen to be storing in these bottles.
While such concerns have been around longer than recent reports might suggest, they are still just that: concerns. A definitive link has not been established and the scientific jury is still out. Some doctors say these bottles are uniformly unsafe, while others suggest that most numbered plastics (those with a 1) are approved for normal, non-carcinogenic drinking.
Between this mess and the discovery of traces of pharmaceuticals in much of America’s public drinking supply… I guess it’s back to rain water in crystal goblet for me.
Categories: Problems
Tagged: chemicals, drinking, harmful, microwave, recycling numbers, safety, today show, water, water bottle
First of all, a big thank you to Foodaphilia for the photos I forgot to take, even though I actually had my camera.
Second of all, wow.
Tacconelli’s serves easily the best pizza I’ve had in Philly, and probably the best thin-crust pizza in the land. Could it be the best ever? We’ll get to that in a minute.
One of the most interesting, and debated, aspects of the Tacconelli’s experience is the requirement that you reserve dough at least one day ahead. This does not mean, however, that you’re expected to make your own pie out of a pile of raw pizza dough. Far from it.
This policy is simply a means - and a quite effective one at that - of quality control. Tacconelli’s, a “one-man, one-oven operation,” does not (and will not) use refrigerated or frozen dough. They only make as many pizzas as there is dough to make them. Sound logic if you ask me.
The place itself is fairly dumpy. You got a few chairs, a few tables, a linoleum floor and some lights. It takes “no frills” to an almost ludicrous level, with only paper plates, paper napkins and plastic cups for your beverages - which, as you might expect, are BYO.
But mamma mia, what a pizza pie! From the first crunchy-soft bite to the last, this was the very epitome of good eats. Though I never got to see the actual menu (a small laminated thing tossed haphazardly around the table), I counted at least four different types of pies:
- Tomato Pie - the White Stripes of pizza is just crust and thick sauce
- Margherita Pie - add a few razor-thin slices of fresh mozzarella and sprinkling of fresh basil to the tomato pie and bang! another winner
- Regular Pie - resembles your average pie, with a nice sheen of cheese (although still less than most). Ours was topped with sausage and shrooms.
- White Pie - “consists of salt, black pepper, cheese and plenty of garlic.” We got this one with tomatoes and spinach, which were piled so high as to completely obscure the “whiteness”
I must have had at least six slices out of the five pies we ordered. On a good night, I’m guessing I could probably down a whole pie myself. It’s really that good.
However…
I just can’t bring myself to rate it above Grimaldi’s in Brooklyn. Although they’re both in somewhat remote parts of their respective cities - Tacconelli’s in Port Richmond, about 20 minutes north of Center City; and Grimaldi’s in the shadow of the Brooklyn Bridge - and both pride themselves on the freshness of their dough and other ingredients, Tacconnelli’s strikes me as too much of a specialty pie.
I’m fairly certain the thin crust is closer to what’s made in Italy, but pizza is as American as it is Italian. And the gold standard of this mixed tradition is still Grimaldi’s.
Sorry, Philly. If it makes you feel any better, you’ve got Boston pizza beaten by a mile!
Categories: Philadelphia · Restaurants
Tagged: best, brooklyn, dough, fresh, grimaldi's, new york, Philadelphia, pizza, pizzeria, port richmond, tacconelli's, thin crust
Unlike Sasquatch, the grassy knoll shooter and a satisfying version of the third Godfather movie, the ever-elusive “free lunch” actually exists. If you’re in downtown Philly, here’s how to get one:
1. Get a job that provides you with copious amounts of business cards.
2. Find a plastic fishbowl, preferably with a sign that urges you to deposit a business card “for your chance to win a free lunch for you and 5 to 10 of your co-workers!”
3. Deposit your business card into said receptacle.
4. Wait.
5. Win. You’ll know you’ve completed this step when you receive an enthusiastic, congratulatory phone call from a financial services representative. Act happy.
6. The financial guy (and it’s always a guy) will make restaurant arrangements and send you a sign-up sheet and menu for your convenience.
7. Your office-mates will debate whether they can escape work for an hour next Tuesday. Mass indecisiveness will cause your sign-up sheet to resemble one of those declassified military documents.
8. On the day of the lunch, the procrastinators will finally sign up and the last of the guilt-ridden (or truly busy) people will drop out, leaving a (surprisingly) manageable number for lunch.
9. At the restaurant, the affable financial guy will take your order sheet and hand it to the waiter. From this point until the food arrives, you’re his.
10. He will talk about the market. He will talk about insurance. He will talk about retirement. You will blink and nod occasionally. Do not speak - this will prevent you from transforming into a “lead.”
11. The uncomfortable silence that accompanies the “Anybody have any questions?” portion of the pitch will end when the food arrives. At this point, the financial guy stealthily acquires your contact information, disingenuously tells you to enjoy your lunch and departs.
12. Eat your lunch - every. last. bite.
13. In a day or two (standard call-back time in financial circles, as well as social), he will attempt to contact you and gauge your interest in his or his organization’s services. Ignore this call at all costs.
14. Ignore all follow-up calls. If you accidentally answer the phone, hang up immediately. If this is not possible, avoid the following subjects: Roth IRAs, debt consolidation, saving for college.
15. Find another fishbowl lunch contest. Repeat.
This guide was based on a recent lunch won at Qdoba , paid for by Ameritrade and furnished by Pietro’s Coal Oven Pizza.
Categories: My Lunch · Philadelphia
Tagged: ameritrade, business cards, contest, fishbowl, free lunch, Philadelphia, pietro's, pizza
I’m all for snarky, pseudo-intellectual T-shirts - like the ones currently on sale at the Mental Floss store - but I draw the line at monkey-eating innuendo.
Categories: Curiosities
Tagged: mental floss, peanut butter cups, reese's, rhesus monkey, t-shirt
